About Me...

From dieting to decanting wine...wedding planning to whipping up new recipes in the kitchen...come sit a spell with me!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Funny what you wish for...

It's been less than one week from my last blog post and WOW have things changed!  Last time I was talking about how I was such a lucky girl and how I really wanted God to show me how to find my story.  Well...as the adage goes, "be careful what you wish for." 

The very next day I receieved the gut wrenching news that my company was shutting down.  The room started spinning, I got hot and sweaty, and didn't really hear everything that was said.  I kept hearing phrases like, "your last day is Friday" and "dissolving the business" and "we really regret having do make this decision."  If you have never been laid off from a job, consider yourself lucky.  This was certainly the first time that I had not chosen to leave a company.  You see...I'm quite the control freak. Yes..me...the control freak.  "Hi.  My name is Jessica and I'm a control freak."  It really sucked having all control yanked right out from under me.

Anyways...so after being asked to leave for the day and we had to come back the next day for a meeting.  I was still kind of in shock.  I didn't want to tell my husband over the phone, so I waited...and waited...for him to come home.  After a little liquid vino courage and a few hours, he was finally home.  I broke the news to him (without shedding a tear might I add)  I kind of felt like a puppy who had peed in the floor.  I had my tail between my legs and was just waiting for my owner's reaction to my mess.  Much to my surprise, my husband was so calm.  Supportive- yes.  Encouraging- of course.  Reassuring- absolutely.  His reaction really helped calm me down.  If he felt like we'd be okay, then we would.  Period.  I realized at that moment that our marriage (just two months in) was already being tested.  I know God will never give us more than we can handle.  Boy, I just didn't see this coming so soon.  "Happy 2 month wedding anniversary....I'm unemployed!" Yea...not what I was going for.  My husband's love and encouragement really calmed my nerves.  I immediately knew it was going to be okay. 

I am taking this time to really ask God for help and guidance.  Help me find my story...help me find my way.  God, what do you have planned for me?  I know that God has a greater plan for me...it just sometimes takes a little intervening.  I've been wanting to make a transition into a different career, so maybe this is my perfect opportunity.  The past several years, I've been really yearning for a more socially meaningful career.  I want to work with children.  I want to inspire children.  I want to do more than just sit at a desk and sell people stuff.  I want to make a DIFFERENCE.  How many people do you know that truly love what they do for a living?  How many times have you said to yourself, "I've got to make a change"?  Well...God is most definitely making a change in my life.  The hardest part is just letting go of that control and trusting that God will take care of my husband and me.  Let go and let God....

So I say all of this not to evoke sympathy from you {I truthfully didn't want to tell anyone about me being unemployed...but I dont think that many people read my blog lol}  I hope to come out on the other side of this valley with a new outlook on life.  I want to use this opportunity to make a change and make a difference.  Here's to the next chapter of my life....

Until next time,
xoxo

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